One-to-one's for me are the number one way to build relationships with the members of my team. Everybody is different; an individual. We all respond to situations differently and we all have different motivations towards work. It is therefore essential that we treat everybody as an individual and don't try to work with or manage them all in the same way. To help us understand the individual - one-to-one's.
One-to-one's are also a great opportunity to get into the details of your teams work or issues. This can actually be a huge time saver for you as a manager; especially if you do these weekly as your team will be more inclined to wait for their one-to-one to discuss the less urgent issues rather than requiring regular and immediate face time with you.
So how do we roll these out?
1. Do them weekly.
You cannot hope to build a relationship with somebody by spending 30 minutes with them just 12 times a year. If this is a team that is new to you and you are concerned there will not be enough content to fill the 30 minutes (which incidentally is rarely the case and you are more likely to have the opposite problem), start at bi-weekly meetings. I do however encourage moving to weekly meetings as soon as you can.
2. Have a balanced agenda.
Aim to have half the time dedicated to them, the other half for you. Don't be too concerned if they over-run slightly on their side. Remember, it's possibly a lot easier for you to arrange further time with them than it is for them to arrange time with you.
3. Let them talk about what is important to them.
Preferably this will be about work but if they want to spend a few minutes talking about their weekend, cars, cats etc, let them. This is a meeting where its primary purpose is to build a relationship and you can't build a relationship with somebody when you dismiss what interests and is important to them. Believe me, if they are having issues with their work and they really want your direction, they will soon bring it up.
4. Let them go first.
If you don't, you will set the tone of the meeting from the outset and they may not open up thereafter.
5. Don't allow yourself to be interrupted by external interruptions.
If you do, you risk sending a negative message that your meeting with them isn't as important as the interruption. You cannot hope to build a motivated team if you allow that perception to manifest. It's therefore a good idea to turn off all phones, email and IM when entering these meetings. If anybody attempts to interrupt in person, politely ask them to come see you afterwards. You have no idea how much this point alone contributes to building a relationship with somebody until you have actually had to do it. It's very motivating. Of course, apply some common sense here. If the building is on fire then you probably want to know about it. Just avoid everything other than the most essential interruptions. It's only for 30 minutes after all.
6. Never cancel a meeting.
Again, this sends the same negative message as when you accept interruptions. If you genuinely can't make your normal scheduled appointment, reschedule immediately for another time in the same week. This will at least reaffirm that meeting with them is important to you and it is simply a scheduling issue.
7. Do them in private.
You can't expect somebody to open up about delicate or confidential issues if there is a concern they may be overheard. If you can't find a private location in the office, a public location can still be private. Coffee houses for example can make excellent locations for one-to-one's in the absence of a meeting room back at the office.
8. Always start and finish on time.
This one is a general meeting rule and should be no different for one-to-one's. It helps form a mutual respect for each others time and provides coaching through example on this particular facet of meeting etiquette.
9. Determine who owns any resulting actions.
Just like any meeting, determine who is responsible for completing any actions and decide by what date they should be completed.
10. Follow up on any actions you received in the last meeting.
It is of course vital that your team has confidence in you as a leader. If you yourself received any actions, follow through on them. If you were unable to fulfil an action from the last meeting, be open and honest and add it to your list of actions for this week. Try not to let this happen for too many consecutive weeks as this in itself sends an implicit message that their request isn't that important to you or the business. If it was important enough to be added as an action to begin with, follow it through to completion.
That's it! Just ten simple rules to help ensure the effective roll out of one-to-ones within your team. What else do you do to ensure these are effective and run smoothly?
